i just have to boost about my grades last semester...yeh this girl got a 3.83 this last sem. meaning i only got one b!!! YEAH!!!!

Christmas Day

Do the holidays are here and so is the abbundance of food and wrapping paper around the house. Not only do I have my families Christmas festivities, I'm also taking part in some of the Schmitz family. So far good, but WAY too much food. It is pretty much all over, unless there is more I dont know about. Its definately good to see luke and actually be with him during the holidays. But that dark gloomy cloud loomes over me just reminding me that the clock is winding down on the year and the time spent with my loved one. I'm glad I get to spend the beginning few days with him, but thats it for the year. Unless he gets some R&R, I'll see him for 2-3 days during the 2006 year. UGH. Life goes on. My goal is to start making a name for myself. Get a real job that could get me money and training for my job. There are places in Bemidji that I can possibly get started and get my career a jump start. With some of the maybe traveling I could be doing, I"m going to need to save some money up to afford those.
Anyway, overall The Holidays went good, one more to go during the break. The presents were accepted well and I received some things I didnt think I would. Which included mats for the neon, mine are nasty, a pizza stone, which I already own, diamond earrings from you know who and other random gifts. Maybe I should go, but my house is so super quiet right now that I wish things were open in town for something to do. Upstairs my mom is cooking once again, and suzie and dad are watching nothing else than CSI or something like that. BORING!!!!!!!!!

i always forget to write

I hardly check this site, so I always forget to write. Nothing important happening. At all. I'm glad its the weekend...almost, I have one final tomorrow, 5 hours of work, then UND vs Beavers Hockey game!!!pretty excited about that, but more excited to go home, ugh i wish it would just go faster. Now i'm starting not being able to sleep at night. well bye, i gotta study

ho hum

Yup, so the last day of classes was today! YEAH! I had one final, ooo a dance final, pretty sure I did pretty good in that class. HEHE. I have one final on Friday, which I NEED to start studying for. Then another on monday, THEN I'M DONE! Wahoo. But of course work, so i'm staying up here so i can get some money to pay off some bills. Today went by super fast, had class until 12, then work 12-5, ate dinner, planned on working out, didnt happen, got a little sick from dinner, shower and relaxed, and tempted to do homework, I got about 5 lines written. Luke called today and last night and updated me on his mission, I'm not allowed to say too much, but he will be on a high speed mission which basically means if a house needs to be raided, thats him. Sounds dangerous, but they travel in armored tanks, shouldnt be too bad. He will be stationed north of Baghdad, close to Balad. And the living conditions look pretty good. I read where one guy in '03 lived in a tent, but now they get their own dorm like rooms and share the bathrooms. NOT BAd, so much better than Mississippi. It puts me at ease to read some things that the guys over there have posted on the internet, they also posted pictures, it looks so ugly..just brown. I only have about 9 days until i can see him at the airport! so excited, but i've written that many times. he was promoted today to a SPECIALIST. pretty cool, means he will have a pay increase and could become a sergeant by the time he gets back from iraq. i'm starting to draw a blank, which means i shall go to bed, its late anyway, and tomorrow i will get my ass to the gyM!

downer day

ever have one of those downer days? looking through some old pictures i pondered why i dont talk to some of my 'friends' anymore and why god had to take a great guy so early. yeh i miss bradley, there will never be another. what he could have been! he will always be missed, but at least his mother now joins him in the heavenly field. poor jim though, now all alone, wife and only son both gone. how does that happen to such a great family? thinking of what great people pat and brad were, tears seem to come. i also miss hanging out with some of my high school buddies...yes derrick that includes you! i'm also trying to figure out why i dont like hanging out with lukes college buddies as much anymore, one i think because of the new girls they hang on, and the fact that they will always remind me of whos not here. its never a good thing to look at some good ole pictures when your day isnt going the best. probably a good thing luke is in the field for the next 5 days, it may be an emotional week...oh man girls and their emotions..seriously. :)
i went to a dance for class last night. going i thought it wasnt going to be fun and i wouldnt know anyone, but turns out a lot of classmates were there, and i had a real good time. i learned some new dances and danced with some people who...well i've always been shy around. i love the nights where you are with just friends and there is no one to be akward around. both friday and saturday night were just...awesome. friday night we hung out at the boys house...jon and taylors that is and just danced goofed around and all just hung out. and abby and i happened to kiss...and we werent even drinking...hmm. oh well. just a weekend that makes you smile..other than work ugh, some real bitchy people there.
you know, i just figured out that even though i miss hanging out wih lukes college buddies...it will never be the same. new girls, new attitudes. but good for them that they are getting attention from girls. and good for drew..he has a good girlfriend. but im suppose to be working on homework. so i should really do that instead.

not a bad day, not a bad day at all

so, i had an overall pretty good day. i took a test in my first class, feeling okay about it, but not sure, i know i got some wrong for sure, but oh well. that new food pyramids serving sizes are tricky to remember. then had my break, so today i decided to get some coffee in the Union and just sit and relax alone, felt awesome, but got boring towards the end. i checked out the bookstore for next semester and found out i only have like 2-3 books! meaning i may spend under $100! wahoo! then i went to biomechanics, the toughest class, and i got an A on my last quiz...oh yeh, good stuff. BUT I THINK THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TODAY! I GOT A WAKE UP CALL AT 6:30AM FROM LUKE TO SAY I LOVE YOU...yeah yeah i know, cheesy, but it made my day go so well, then he called again at like 2, so i chatted with him for about an hour while he was 'patrolling' the gate. today is also my roomies b-day, she turns the big 2-0! haha, she is a youngen, so tonight we are going to perkins (the only place in town that has room!) this week is going to go good, i beleive it. i've gotten down in weight, i have good grades coming, hockey games and fun, good working hours, and one week closer to christmas. oh yeh! um..what else? i cant think of much, i did help make a video for a friend's class, i ended up playing a tree chasing after someone,..pretty random, but fun! but so cold outside, my nose went numb. its below zero windshield tonight...brrrr. anyway i'm off, i dont have much to say!

points to ponder

so i'm trying to figure out why everytime i try to go out, i never seem to have a good time...i end up leaving early and coming back home alone. why do i like being alone so much now? i go to my friends house, which always seems to be a party and dont enjoy myself. i used to have so much fun there. not saying i didnt have any fun, i met some new people and hung out with my good friends...but the guys who live there, doesnt seem like they much care anymore. they send me emails and call me to see whats up and why i'm not there, but when i'm there, its like im invisable. what the heck? i'm guessing its the new girls they are hanging out with. a bunch of girls from the volleyball team, so you can imagine, good looking and paying attention to them. i guess i've really never gotten along too well with girls. but i really dont like it when i get bumped around repeatedly and pushed with no apologies. ugh, but maybe i'm just jeleous because i lost my guy friends. im not longer an effort for them and now the new girls are the interest. oh well i guess. loss for both sides. i just dont understand why they pretend to care, saying things like, glad you came, and nice to see you, but then go on to ignore me. hmmm....i actually think i'm getting depressed, thats why i'm not having fun, even with my own friends. when i'd rather be alone, somethings up. but no way am i going to take any pills or anything like that. damn it, idont want to be one of those people that cant handle their boyfriend leaving, ugh. i hope its not just that. cause that would suck, can you say weak? anyway, i should get some sleep, that will help.