wow, how messed up am i right now. ive done some pretty stupid stuff that really affected some one and now they'll never let it down. how can i be so mean and not even know it. how big of a bitch have i become. i thought i was nice enough, but i guess not. i'm about to give up. i'm mentally not up to the challenge i should be or that i told people i would be. i'm not finding comfort in anything i do, and everytime i open my big mouth it seems to get me into more trouble. maybe i'm just so fake everyone can see it but me.