Knee Recovery

So yeh, sitting here recovering from my knee surgery and of course..pretty bored. not much you can do with a bum knee. i went to visit lukes parents today, that was really nice being with them. mostly just sat and talked to nancy, but tim and i talked too. came home to an empty house, parents were at a wedding, so i took some pain pills and pretty much passed out. gotta love those pills. the surgery went well, pretty fast, but made some damage. i think my knee is about 3x its size with only 3 little poke holes. its nice to have time to relax and have some pills to knock me out. ive been getting small homework amounts done, i was hoping to get a big start on my project and i did start, but i wouldnt consider it a huge start. home of course is always pretty laid back. kaylin came to visit yesterday and jena today, got a balloon from kaylin and jena brought me a coloring book..hehe. and i used it. my parents really havent gotten me anything but their support. which of course is nice, getting me water and ice and things like that. i thought i would get some more calls, but luke did call at about 4 this morning, that was nice of him, we both were pretty tired so we really didnt talk too much, said the basic i love yous ,and him telling me he got horny.hehe. my sister did call..but of course she was complaining about herself hurting, cant let anyone else have the light on them. oh well, that is how she will always be. time for me to clunk out again so i can get up for church and put lukes picture up on the bulliton board. good night all....especially derrick who actually reads all my complaints...luv ya!

THE TRUTH

LOVING A SOLDIER

Loving a soldier is a high price to pay,
loving him truly is hard when he's away.
It's being alone with nothing to hold;
it's being young, but feeling old;
it's having him whisper his love for you;
it's whispering back that you love him too.
There comes a kiss and a promise for more,
as his plane slowly rises to soar;
reluctantly, painfully, letting him go,
while your insides are dying from wanting him so,
watching him leave with eyes full of tears,
standing alone with your hopes, dreams and fears.
It's sending a letter with the stamp upside down,
to a far away love in a far away town.
It's going to church to kneel and pray,
and really meaning the things that you say.
Being in love will foster your dreams,
of that far away soldier your mind fairly beams.
Days go by, no mail for a spell,
you wait for some word to hear that he's well.
Then a letter arrives, and you've given in,
to open his letter and read it with a grin,
yes, he is well and misses you so,
it's filled with the love you wanted to know.
Weeks are like months, and months are like years,
you wait for the day when you'll have no more fears.
Days go by slowly, how many have passed?
Yes, loving a soldier brings bitterness and fears,
loneliness, sadness and despondent years.
Loving a soldier isn't much fun,
but it's worth the price when the battle is won;
and remember he is thinking of you everyday,
he's sad and he's lonely while so far away;
so love him and miss him and hold your head high,
be strong and have faith, wipe that tear from your eye.
It's the high price you pay for loving a soldier

upbeat blog?

yeh so i do a lot of complaining on here, but this is more for me to rant than for others to read..but thanks for the thought. things are winding down. school is finally about over, but overload is happening. at least i have work to do my homework at..sometimes. this is my last week being able to be active..i will go nuts, but hopefully the healing process of my surgery will be fast and progressive enough to get me back in 'the game' just being active this summer getting my summer body back and having fun...especially wakeboarding! kinda nervous though, not exactly sure what they are doing or how long i'll be laid up.
luke is doing good. he emailed me saying that his first patrol went well and they even went hill jumping in the humvee...hehe, boys will be boys
i dont have much to say. i've been talking all night with different army girls..aka gfs and wives. its been a good night, i got lots of homework done..oh and i signed a lease yesterday! scary though, its 375 a month, i hope i can afford it. i thought i had enough money in the checking account..but i cant transfer anymore money with out the bank getting mad about it. anyway, i'm losing track of time and need to sleep...hehe

Easter Weekend

So here we are at Easter weekend. March flew by and now hopefully the next year will too. I'm sitting here at my aunt and uncles house by the cities feeling alone. there are people surrounding me, but yet i feel like i'm the only one in the room. everyone has been nice enough to ask me about luke, but i just get more sad. especially after missing a call and internet yesterday with him. who knows the next time i'll talk to him. seriously no one understands. i feel empty without my guy here. i feel pathetic, but i know i'm not the only one. i miss him very much. i try not to tear, but its getting hard. its not easy to hide the feelings that surround your thoughts. always wondering if hes ok, where is he and what is he doing? one mortar attack down, many to go. makes me wonder if any of them will be close enough to harm him. but i cannot think like that. no news is suppose to be good news. hes calling a lot more than what i thought he would, but its never enough. 1 hour a week is never enough. how long must i live like this.? always questioning his safety always being lonely..i know i know, only a year more. but april of 2007 seems so far away. another year of school. which is starting to be a pain in the butt. i guess i hit the section where i'm sick of it. every class seems to be a drag. no teacher understanding what i'm going through nor do i have the will to actually do all my work. i've been slacking on my work when i shouldnt be. some classes getting low B's right now...cant really afford that with my GPA...not at all! i feel like i have other things to worry about than a gpa... summer is almost here.
i want to cry right now...but my tears just arent flowing. Being with family helps...i just cant imagine what his family is going through...having holidays without a big part of their family. his family is the best. i would never put them down. they are strong and so close. everyone in that family is a huge part. and they accept me. thats great. his mother calls and emails to see how i'm doing. of course i tell her im fine when inside i just want to scream and sleep until its all over. now dont get me wrong. i dont think im depressed. however, it may come. i need to be strong, not only for my health, but for luke. he needs me to be here strong for him, routing for him. no one will love luke more than me.